BVSC Effin Rocks.

¿Qué te importa que te ame,si tú no me quieres ya?El amor que ya ha pasadono se debe recordar Fui la ilusión de tu vidaun día lejano ya,Hoy represento al pasado,no me puedo conformar. Si las cosas que uno quierese pudieran alcanzar,tú me quisieras lo mismo que veinte años atrás. Con qué tristeza miramosun amor que se nos va Es un pedazo del almaque se arranca sin piedad

What does my love mean to you if you no longer love me?We should not dwell on love that is past I was your life's desire. One day long ago now I'm history.I can't face the change If only we could make our dreams come true, if only you would love me as you did twenty years ago. How mournfully we watch as our love ebbs away heartlessly as part of the soul is torn away.

cuán hermoso pero yo no me siento esta manera ya.

I love it, but I am glad I don't feel like this anymore.

at this point....

it is so hard to talk about something that isn't
supposed to be described in words
people thrive on language and emotions and visuals
how do they react when you take that all away?
you can't understand it with your mind
you need to feel it in your body, become it.
don't do this to feel better about yourself
do it because it is the only thing that feels right
among the facade of business as usual.
don't continue just to find out a name
do it to give up every name you have ever learned.

endless cycles
thoughtless actions
you are right, that is too far.

Older

looking back at old photos
why can't we hit rewind and go back to those
smiles?
how did i end up here, back at the beginning but without you
it seems like things have gotten so mixed up
why can't we forget and start anew?
where the fuck is the reset button?

I don't remember when I wrote this....

4 leaved love

I look upwards and see
shimmering stars laid in their heavenly bed
It's times like these when I miss you most
When I see sunsets or find peaceful moments
I want you to share them with me
Tonight I glanced at the full August Moon
impressed by its pale glow
I thought of you, like always, and felt a deep
sadness because my hand was cold and empty

This was a poem that I wrote for Spring Sesshin 09

Roshis calm wind breath
bumble bee can not resist
the dharma dance

more lyrics

once you've found love you don't know how to find new love

now every new love is just a shadow



--the low anthem

ten

has lost faith in people
ideas, promises, truth
it's funny that such a state
and over sized nails could make you realize
how far away you want to be from other people
revel in silence, and get away from
this fucking place.

Lyrics that I <3 part I

Wait, they don't love you like I love you.

I'm holding out for that teenage feeling.

I could never go with you no matter how I wanted to.

On this mountain's the only place I can see clearly.

If anything could ever feel this real forever, if anything could ever be this good again.

Ireland Haiku

Really Cheesy Haiku coming at you:

emerald moss on trees
hidden valley of two lakes
exudes peace and love

7 AM, Old poem

my life isn't an indie band's
abstract modern lyrics
i breathe out and it feels like there is something inside me that is missing which might be vital to sustain my existence


I had this laying around in the memory of my computer.

a change in mood....

Two happier poems, both without titles.

the wind blows and your life can change
in a matter of minutes
sometimes you have to give up any sense of
control and just let yourself be
in the moment



nervous laughter
squints and squirms
what does this mean?

well....what could i expect?

it doesn't matter if i spill my heart and soul out to you
you want to erase it and hit fast forward
or ignore it completely
i felt your words paralyze me
i know you meant what you said
but i don't want to believe it
there is no one to believe in
nothing to stand up for
no one to confide in
nothing to look forward to
people are just people after all

Two Sad Poems

The Imminent Feeling is More Imminent

the feeling of defeat lingers in my bones
rejection after rejection
and i haven't started yet
there is only so many times you can hear
what is this going to do for you?


Well I'd rather....

apparently psilocybin is a better experience
than i am at this point in my life
is this worth it,
trying to pull you through the muck
when I am not sure what is on the other side


well they aren't really sad I guess, just real. I titled them, that's always nice.

blue b ale

Teabags and beer caps try to solicit their advice to me
I usually tell them to go fuck themselves
Who are you my mother?
I just wanted to enjoy a micro brew
And now I am getting asked questions about my future
Maybe my rooibos is right though, what am I doing?
Hoping that I will find something out there worthwhile
Move back to a warmer city that’s less gray
Looking endlessly at job postings and airline tickets
There is this feeling of imprisonment, but it’s self inflicted
Because I am the key holder to my own cell
But I am keeping it tightly shut, closing the windows and blinds
Just give me a week or two…

Fuck My Life Part III

why are we so disrespectful towards life
others name their specimens
after fast food pot bellied scum
in attempts of sarcastic indifference
life is one huge joke to them and
i can't decipher any of the punchlines
people joking about killing off the unborn
just to get a rise out of conservatives
and making light of other's downfall as if there was
no other option
pointing fingers and catching your every mistake
yeah my friend just killed himself a week ago
he should have done it sooner and with a gun
'cause man, that shows balls
looking at pictures of those fuckers i shot overseas
come here and see me in this one
they deserved it, they aren't like us at all

Inane Ramblings Part II

why do i get crushed by men that i am not dating?
if they don't make a move on me
its equivalent to someone breaking up with me
he’s one of those guys that’s
into Asian chicks, he’s too smart for you
you might be better looking but not as witty
and that’s what really matters
he paid serious cash to be accepted into one of those
Greek secret societies in college and you just
wouldn't understand unless you were there
well what about that guy that i danced with
i swear he was staring at my ass
then he comes in with another chick two weeks
later, its like that magical merengue meant nothing
or the guy you were hooking up with found someone new
and you just keep saying to yourself well you shouldn't
give all the popsicles away for free you fucking
ice cream whore

Inane Ramblings Part I

watching these movies makes me want to

drop acid and move out west and

hitch through California

just give up on life

explore and discover for a couple of months

read a fucking book

before reality sets in and this whole world

finally crystallizes and gloom is just second nature

uhhh yeah..

I saw haikus and I was inspired......


starts off with a tear
then a magical question
i am in your arms


i was never afraid,
not scared now i understand
the house you have built

Feb 11th 2009

There is always a reason for the way we proceed with our life
I went out this late evening to pump fresh air and blood through my veins
I looked up and noticed the cloudy night sky and the February Moon
It stayed in place while I felt the warm breeze over my body,
and it didn't move when I felt my heart beating faster
Then its orange brilliance slipped under the darkness
As if to say "Our time here is over",
I continued to go round, as if replying "I hope to see you soon"
and "You might be gone now, but I know you are always with me"
I will keep my heart open until the next late winter moon