Fuck My Life Part III

why are we so disrespectful towards life
others name their specimens
after fast food pot bellied scum
in attempts of sarcastic indifference
life is one huge joke to them and
i can't decipher any of the punchlines
people joking about killing off the unborn
just to get a rise out of conservatives
and making light of other's downfall as if there was
no other option
pointing fingers and catching your every mistake
yeah my friend just killed himself a week ago
he should have done it sooner and with a gun
'cause man, that shows balls
looking at pictures of those fuckers i shot overseas
come here and see me in this one
they deserved it, they aren't like us at all

Inane Ramblings Part II

why do i get crushed by men that i am not dating?
if they don't make a move on me
its equivalent to someone breaking up with me
he’s one of those guys that’s
into Asian chicks, he’s too smart for you
you might be better looking but not as witty
and that’s what really matters
he paid serious cash to be accepted into one of those
Greek secret societies in college and you just
wouldn't understand unless you were there
well what about that guy that i danced with
i swear he was staring at my ass
then he comes in with another chick two weeks
later, its like that magical merengue meant nothing
or the guy you were hooking up with found someone new
and you just keep saying to yourself well you shouldn't
give all the popsicles away for free you fucking
ice cream whore

Inane Ramblings Part I

watching these movies makes me want to

drop acid and move out west and

hitch through California

just give up on life

explore and discover for a couple of months

read a fucking book

before reality sets in and this whole world

finally crystallizes and gloom is just second nature

uhhh yeah..

I saw haikus and I was inspired......


starts off with a tear
then a magical question
i am in your arms


i was never afraid,
not scared now i understand
the house you have built

Feb 11th 2009

There is always a reason for the way we proceed with our life
I went out this late evening to pump fresh air and blood through my veins
I looked up and noticed the cloudy night sky and the February Moon
It stayed in place while I felt the warm breeze over my body,
and it didn't move when I felt my heart beating faster
Then its orange brilliance slipped under the darkness
As if to say "Our time here is over",
I continued to go round, as if replying "I hope to see you soon"
and "You might be gone now, but I know you are always with me"
I will keep my heart open until the next late winter moon

Weekend Fantasy Disaster

i spend my time carefully
sowing the seeds of love
you pass yours by carefully
ripping them out of by the root
when i exhale it feels like there is a
cavity filled with lead bricks
when you look into my eyes you ask
why do they look so glassy and wet?
falling further away from me
coming closer to you
but you just aren't feeling it
as that glass begins to break
you keep your head straight into the
void of space and what was once
our time
still there is this disillusion
that hangs in my head
and feeds me hope through all of the
disappointment and self-pity
but what a beautiful way to break
my heart





ok so last line isn't mine, it's Beck's but I like it. deal.

Monday Meditation Gone Awry

shut the fuck up and
sit down
conversation in the hallway
suddenly every conversation i've ever had
seems pointless and useless
when i hear the women speak of
wedding shoes
movement every three minutes
why can't he stay still and i am
breaking these vows by getting
angry that we can't share a
silent thirty minutes
and i am thinking be
grateful for these evil
devices to emancipate myself from
sinful karma produced and accumulated
upon myself by my own egoistic
delusions and attachments
through the countless cycles of kalpa
--and he moved again

in a place

i live in a place where
trees are allowed to
grow only in the spaces between
wires, where it’s ok to have a severe case of
ennui, even if you are not French
where people make bad decisions at 3am
in a place where taking a piss seems like a
surreal existential experience
where as soon as everything starts going
well, you suddenly feel the need to
push the self destruct button
i live in a place where all i want
is a warm body next to me just to
feel the same blood flowing through the same
veins with the same feeling of inadequacy
in a place where we stare at plant's
reproductive systems and coo
where we need to justify reasons for an
animals existence by asking
why should we care about them?